Love Is A Cardboard Box For Two

Ah yes and then before that I had a dream where I was sat next to Clint Eastwood, looking something like how he appears in Gran Torino….. and turns out we were sat opposite a computer and he started asking me to type something really long into Google for him, exactly like my dad does. I didn’t know whether I was more annoyed or in awe. I also don’t know if it was trying to tell me some sort of Jungian Electra complex thing about how I have a crush on my dad because he is secretly Clint Eastwood, or whether it was just saying Clint Eastwood is awesome and everything but he is worse at computers than my dad is, but he’s still Clint Eastwood, so therefore it is okay to not be good at everything.

It was some sort of Samsung mobile phone, if you were wondering. He wanted one :/

Ok, I had a really weird dream the other night and it’s the kind of weirdness that I thought Tumblr would appreciate:

I seemed to be one of those leaders of an underground organisation or gang or something that also owns a nightclub - like Aria in Mass Effect - but I wasn’t doing violent gang douchebaggery, we were a bit renegade but mostly a force of good against the underground criminal rival douchebags. I went by the name Lady Pigeon.

On this particular night, I was sporting a new outfit and it was pretty hot (apparently *shrug*) plus I had a 3/4 leather jacket like Snake Plissken’s in Escape From LA - and as the top dog of this place, people knew who I was and were trying to talk to me or buy me drinks or whatever. It all kicked off when this one guy took a photo of me in my new dress, and then decided to forcibly pull my skirt and take really pervy shots of me 0_0

So, this is the part of the dream where I notice my personal body guards are Solid Snake and Big Boss….! I run up to my office on the top floor to get them, Big Boss goes to body slam and tackle this pervy moron and I grab his camera, going back to my office to take out the SD card or check it for anything else that made our group of miscreants look really really bad, or put us at a disadvantage against some other rival gang. But the pervy moron idiot guy must have had backup, because Solid Snake and I started to panic.

Snake whips out a Stinger missile launcher and takes out a huge chunk of brick wall. The assailants are thundering up the stairs. I’m stood in front of the gaping hole in the wall, and I’m not sure how but now I have great grey wings. I jump out of the building and fly off to somewhere to deal with this camera - which must have something pretty important on it - at a safe distance from the commotion that Solid Snake just launched himself into on my behalf.

I’m not too sure what happened after that because I woke up not long after. But it seems I was literally Lady Pigeon for a while there. It was badass. I hope I can dream about that weird universe again ^^’

I DREAMT I’D ADOPTED A PET PIGEON AND IT SAT ON MY SHOULDER AND EVERYTHING BEST DREAM EVER OK sdfghjuikolkjhgjk

I then woke up and fell back to sleep and very nearly got completely lucid, but I kept getting excited about this so I woke up whenever I got control of myself ¬¬

Also really annoying is that whenever I try to dream up somebody, anybody in a lucid dream to accompany me I can never quite get it right. Either they’ll be invisible or I can never get to them in the first place :c but I want to freak out about Escape From New York with Solid Snake and show off my new imaginary pet pigeon why do you do this to me brain

I miss getting toys in cereal. Last night I had a dream that this brand of cereal were doing that, and it was tiny, flat, light-up keyrings of the Portal 2 Cores. When you pressed the lens they lit up and said something, and they came in in some cute packaging.

The funniest thing ever was that Wheatley’s packaging was inside out and he was in the package backwards :3 d’awwwww bless your metal heart, little Intelligence Dampening Core.

Anyways, I went on a cereal buying rampage Stephen Merchant and Snake Plissken were in the queue, which is odd and I managed to collect all 4 of them, and was on webcam to Zelly and Tom who had them too and we were like “Why can’t we hold all these Cores” - but then I woke up and had a good five seconds of aww yeah where are my cores and then I had to come to terms with the fact it wasn’t real and I haven’t seen cereal prizes since I was about ten. 

D: 

I feel old. 

zellas:

And then my Aunty got pissed off at me because he had a wank onto the kitchen sponge and she thought I did it ;_;

And I couldn’t say it was him! Because I wasn’t allowed a boy in the house and they would get mad at me!

So I had to go upstairs and tell him off and he thought it was really funny >.>

ZELLY

ZELLY I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

OH MY GOD, THE SENTANCE ABOUT THE SPONGE

OH LAWD

I dreamt Revelations Ezio was bald the other night.

…

And he was Bruce Willis.

He was bald old Bruce Willis with a grey beard.

Dreamt The Boss and Big Boss were standing on opposite sides of a ravine. Big Boss tried using a Portal Gun to get across it but somehow managed to do it wrong and The Boss nearly ended up falling down the ravine. Big Boss corrected his mistake just in time with another portal, but they were still on opposite sides. The Boss had managed to get her hands on the Portal Gun just as Big Boss was firing the new portal, so now she was in possession of it.

She made a portal on her side, a portal next to Big Boss (the way he should have done it in the first place) walked up to her portal with an air of purpose and then punched him through it. Not just a little disciplinary nudge in the shoulder either; a full-force blow to the head.

No dodgy dreams about Human Wheatley this time - good, because that was frankly terrifying.

However I did dream that I was back at uni and was being forced to take part in a stage adaptation of Homestuck, which I wasn’t happy about at all because I was the only one in the group that knew nothing about Homestuck (er… there are trolls in it? One of them is called Karkat. That’s…. that’s pretty much everything I know.)

But there are certain people who should stay the hell out of my dream world before I get angry. Unfortunately they’ve been in it a lot lately.

You’re okay to be there Wheatley. As long as you don’t go all weird on me like before.

And you can stop that right now.

I know I get whingy when I get up after midday, but when I’m having a dream about doing 70mph handbrake turns with Major Ocelot it’s probably best to leave me alone.

Now I’ll never know why I was in that situation.

I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT and it involved hanging out with people I talk to on tumblr even though I don’t know what most of you look like - pudding- and trolljima were definately there because I do know what they look like but there was more of you - I have no idea what any of us were talking about anymore but I have a feeling it was pretty awesome otherwise I’d wake up feeling sad

But now I’ve woken up and I’m ill and coughing (damn flatmates!) and I have to review a book that doesn’t make any sense and conclude my own essay which makes even less sense

man, that’s great, poor Kurt. Is this your first Kurt Russell dream? :3c

I believe so, yeah! Like I said, I don’t often dream about famous people/pop culture that everybody else would know about. At least I think so… I should keep a dream diary to get better at remembering them :/

I did have one dream about a non-existent saturday morning kids show where some celebs were having a race swimming out from the beach to about 500m in the sea and back, and David Hayter was doing it in full MGS2 Solid Snake gear for no fucking reason whatsoever.

I’m pretty sure he won, too. Like a boss.

I have a flat/room inspection at some point before three o clock and I fell asleep earlier and dreamt Kurt Russell was the room inspector so I was like:

0-0 *QUICK TIDY UP MORE, TIDY UP MORE - WEAR SOMETHING LESS TRAMPY - ACTUALLY BOTHER TO HOOVER*

…And then I was like, should I take his pictures down or not? Maybe just the two on the sexy wall I suppose (which is now emblazoned proudly in red and pink letters). That would be embarrassing :x But moreso if he asks why he is not on the sexy wall…

I actually want to tidy up more now. I have some issues with reality when I wake up from a nap. Just roll with it.

“What is this Metal Gear thing and why is there so much of it in this room? Why does this guy have my hair?”